A Little Romance
Chris Cicchinelli is the CEO of the Cincinnati-based Pure Romance, LLC, where he leads business development, operations, sales, and marketing. He is also the founder, along with his wife, Jessica, of the Living with Change Foundation—a nonprofit dedicated to supporting transgender youth and their families.
What inspired you to write The Secret is You?
I have been kicking around the idea of writing a book for at least five years. But I didn’t want to do it unless I knew I had something important to contribute to the conversation as someone who overcame a lot–having graduated at the bottom of my high school class–to thrive in the business world. I also didn’t want to put out just another book that deals in all kinds of theory but fails to specify actionable steps you can take to succeed beyond your wildest dreams. I was determined to lay out a series of what-to-dos rather than talk concepts and case studies. And I have. I’ve written the book I wish someone had written for me when I was just starting out. This book is for the person who wants to start a business, anyone involved in a family business, a budding entrepreneur, or anyone who is determined to find the motivation inside themselves to make it happen. If you want to start living comfortably, you need to understand that you’ll actually need to live uncomfortably to start moving forward in the business world. You are going to have to push yourself to extremes that are deep inside and not yet unlocked.
“For one, commit and commit fully, not halfway. Don’t run at the first sign of trouble or the first challenge. Also, be patient...Nothing worth achieving happens overnight. ”
What do you hope is the biggest takeaway from the book?
I hope readers are left understanding that each of them has the ability and the opportunity to determine their own destiny. I want them to be empowered to go out and supercharge their reality and turn their dreams into action. It’s all about supplying people with the tools necessary to become successful entrepreneurs while at the same time recognizing that great career achievement isn’t beyond their grasp. I want readers to walk away with the confidence and understanding that they can design their own life. They don’t have to live with the labels that others give them. They don’t have to sit back and take second place. They can design their own life, whether they’re looking to advance in their organization or start their own business. They should read the secret is YOU and take to heart the message that it really is all up to them, because it’s true. They can be as successful as they allow themselves to be. It’s all about believing in their ability and knowing they have the power to overcome any obstacle tossed in their path.
What has been the most fulfilling part of the tremendous success of Pure Romance?
Being able to help my mom see her dream through by scaling the company and touching so many lives. I see women who get here feeling like failures, like they’ll never amount to anything, and within months watch them thrive. The coolest part is how many dream-come-true moments I have helped to happen over the years, from paying off a credit card bill, to leaving a bad relationship, to building a retirement account. It’s helping to fulfill these dreams that are my proudest accomplishments. It’s been an amazing privilege to assist so many women who started without the confidence in their skillsets and witness their evolution as business owners. They invariably grasp that there’s no glass ceiling when they surround themselves with positive thoughts and intentions, and that the only limitations are those they place on themselves.
What is the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?
It came from a guy who I respect a lot. He said, “Be the last person at the table. Don’t fold. Don’t show your cards. Stay in the game as long as you possibly can, because everybody will give up eventually. Either they can’t take the pressure or can’t handle the uncertainty.” That suggestion has stayed with me. Can you outlast the pain and the doubt to thrive while you’re in the middle of doing a deal? It’s become my maxim. In essence, don’t give up before you get going! Stick around and let the process play out.
Can you talk a little bit about the experience working with your mother to launch and rebrand Pure Romance?
Well, I can now say that after my five years in therapy from spending three years in a U-Haul driving from town to town with my mother back when I was starting out in the business that things are great! (I’m joking, but we really probably should have sought therapy after that). If you want to learn true patience, go into business with your family or close friends. You learn a bundle about yourself and those closest to you. The truth is that when you’re working with them, you need to create boundaries to protect those relationships. My mom and I have a deep respect for one another and what each of us brings to the table, but at the same time we’re both very headstrong people who know what we want and what does and doesn’t work. She is a passionate perfectionist. I’m the hard-driving marketing builder. The yin and the yang. So it’s been challenging. But at the same time, we make a heck of a team. And when all else fails, bring on the wine!
The book talks a lot about female empowerment in business. What advice would you give to a woman who is looking to branch out as an entrepreneur?
I would say a couple of things. For one, commit and commit fully, not halfway. Don’t run at the first sign of trouble or the first challenge. Also, be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is any viable business. Nothing worth achieving happens overnight. Staying on top of tech, trends, and the influences of the modern landscape is integral. And she should be prepared to pivot and change up the dynamic when needed. Women in business, in my opinion, are too often asking for the opinions of others when what they really need to do is trust their gut and stay the course. I am not opposed to crowdsourcing ideas, but over the years working with thousands of women I have watched them grow and succeed primarily on their own intuition.
Tell us one thing that readers would be surprised to learn about you?
That I didn’t go to school to sell sex toys and I am typically the only man in the room! Seriously, when you meet me, you would probably never think I run a relationship enhancement company with a community of 40,000 women. I was told that I shouldn’t bother applying to college by my high school advisor, who stressed that trade school would be a better fit for me. As if! My dyslexia did not make taking the SAT easy, and I had to work really hard to score high enough to get into Mount Union College in the nineties. But it’s the things that I learned from my football coaches in high school and college that still motivate me today. We all have the secret to our own success residing inside of us. We just have to step up and decide it’s our time and then never stop pushing toward our goal.